College

I have made the important decision that will have an impact on the rest of my life..

Which college I will attend..

The answer is...

....
......

.......

THE UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY!

I had a gut feeling that UK is where I would end up after I found out that I was diagnosed with Crohn's, but I feel so relieved to know that I have officially made the decision.

I will be majoring in history, then going into pre-med, then I will be a Pediatric GI Specialist.

A lot of my friends are currently applying for schools and making those life altering decisions, so make sure you say a prayer for them as they are under so much pressure.

Also, make sure you remember my friends that are in "stress overload" because they are not sure of what career they want to pursue just yet.

I know this year has already been stressful enough, but I look at my disease as a blessing in disguise because if I had never gotten sick, I would be one of these students who wasn't sure of what profession I wanted to pursue.

 Also, for anyone who is interested, I am taking donations for our local homeless shelter, so if you would like to purchase items that are necessary in everyday life such as:

• toothbrush and toothpaste
• hairbrush
• lotion
• mouthwash
• baby items
• coloring books and crayons (for children)
• stuffed animals (for children)
• deodorant
• body wash
• shampoo
• razors
• tweezers
• nail clippers
• toilet paper

You can purchase any of these items, send me a message and I would be more than willing to meet you and pick them up and deliver them.

I have been speaking about my platform constantly this week due to some things that happened in school, so I am going to make a "EveryBODY is Beautiful" challenge for you this week:
-This coming week, I want you to tell AT LEAST ONE PERSON about the "EveryBODY is Beautiful" campaign, then challenge them to pass the challenge on to someone else!

I hope everyone has had an amazing week!

"Just another day in the life."

When You're 18

I woke up this morning and I was a legal adult...
Going back to when I was a little kid, I wished turning 18 would "hurry up and get here."
But now, I want to go back..

As the day was approaching everyone would say "I wish I was you." "I can't wait to turn 18." ect.
My response? "I'll trade you."

Some of my friends have unbearable parents who don't trust them to walk across the street.
It really makes me sad that a child wants to turn 18, just so they can get away from their parents.

I am blessed that my parents have "let go" enough to keep me safe, but yet let me make decisions.
The outcome of this is- I have made good decisions, in order to keep my parents trust. If I have made a bad decision (there have been a few of those, for sure), I go straight to my parents and tell them, instead of trying to "cover it up." In order to keep their trust.

I have seen it numerous times in high school (especially now that kids can drive) a child who has a strict parent will lie and tell their parents that they are one place, so they can go somewhere else.
In my opinion, I think its really sad that a child has to lie about where they are going, just to avoid a fight with their parents.

My parents gave me plenty of trust and they knew when it was time to start "letting go" so in return, I haven't made many poor choices.

I am thankful for them.

Being 18 doesn't feel any different. I can vote, and actually go to jail if I make a big mistake (YAY).

Turning 18 is so significant to me is because, I thought I would never make it past 17.
Being 17 was a rough year for me. I would write it down in the books as a pretty bad year, with a couple of good highlights (no ostomy, and Brandon).
Being really sick, made me appreciate the days that I have now. Even the horrible ones.
I continually get so caught up in everything going on around me and I never take the time to stop and say "Wow, I am alive. That's awesome. I've had worse days. I'm thankful today isn't one of them."
Challenge- When things are tough, and you seem so caught up in everything.. Stop and count your blessings.

I am looking forward to a new year full of new experiences such as senior prom, graduating high school, starting college, and so much more.
I wont lie and say that I don't want to go back to when I was about 2 or 3 and start all over.
I would love that.
I wouldn't change anything though, because good or bad, my decisions have made me the person I am now.

To quote myself:
    "When they said 18 would feel different, they lied."

Dear 18,
      Please be kind to me.
                                        -MaKenzie

"Just another day in the life."

Miss Pittsburg Homecoming Pageant

So, I kept this on the down low.. But on Saturday night, I competed in the Miss Pittsburg Homecoming Pageant and I won Miss Pittsburg Ultimate Queen of Queens, a national introduction plaque, a national donation plaque, an introduction medal, a personality medal, a prettiest smile metal, the most beautiful trophy, photogenic trophy, and early entry trophy.

I cannot wait to represent a county that I grew up in.

All the ladies in the competition were beautiful and so talented.

I am beyond blessed to have the support of my parents, my grandparents, and my boyfriend as I jump back on the pageant train.

During my pageant I got to speak about my "EveryBODY is Beautiful" campaign and now that I have won, I am looking forward to traveling around the county and speaking to people of various ages.

Also, something important I need everyone to pray about- I applied for Juniorettes last week. This is a very prestigious club at my school and I really hope to get accepted. I also applied to UK and I am working on scholarship essays. Lastly, I take my ACT on the 14th of the month.

So, I currently have a lot on my plate and I would appreciate all the prayers I could possibly get.

Now, enjoy some more pageant pics!

"Just another day in the life."

GO GOLD

As most know, or should know, September is childhood cancer awareness month.

Pediatric cancer is a subject that I hold very close to my heart.

Since I have been diagnosed with Crohn's I have been exposed to many pediatric cancer patients and I will just go out and say that they are the real heroes.

Before I was diagnosed with Crohn's they were testing me for Leukemia.. I remember just how horrified my family was at the thought that their daughter, niece, or granddaughter may have cancer. I am so thankful that it was just Crohn's. Now, people who know their stuff know that Crohn's and cancer are very similar, yet they can be very different.

Here are some facts about pediatric cancer:

• Each year around 13,500 children are diagnosed with pediatric cancer in the US.
• 35,000 children are currently in treatment for cancer.
• 74% of childhood cancer survivors have chronic illnesses.
• Cancer treatments can affect a child's growth, fertility, and endocrine system.

Aside from all of the sad things about cancer, all of the cancer kids I have met have the biggest hearts around. Many of the kids I see are always smiling, even when they don't feel like it. They laugh, they play.
They are truly phenomenal kids and they make the most of every single moment.

My challenge for you this month-

• Learn all you possibly can about pediatric cancer.
• Educate others about pediatric cancer.
• If you have the financial means, DONATE.
• Simply pray for the children and families.

"Just another day in the life."

Miss Laurel County Homecoming Pageant

So, I totally forgot about my blog posts!
I was in the car with Brandon and he was like "You really need to post on your blog!"
I was like "OH MY GOSH I DO!!"

So then I realized that I didn't even talk about my pageant!
I didn't win a title, but I won in such an incredible way.

A few years ago, I never even thought I would be experiencing anything ever again, let alone a beauty pageant.

I met so many amazing women, got to speak about my "EveryBODY is Beautiful" campaign and get back out of my comfort zone and begin to feel beautiful again.

I am so lucky to have such an awesome support system..
The Hill Street Loft for being my sponsor and helping me look amazing
My mom helping me get ready
My boyfriend recording the whole thing and sending me encouraging texts during the pageant
My dad sitting front row and texting me telling me to "just be myself"
My grandpa for being my escort
My nana, for crying and telling me how beautiful I am (like she always does)
All my friends who came to support me and screamed at the top of their lungs every single time I set foot on stage.

Every single one of my competitors are absolutely beautiful inside and out.

Huge congratulations to Brooke and Makinlee for wining the titles, they will serve the county well.

Now, TIME FOR PICTURES

"Just another day in the life."

School Update

I was super nervous about starting my senior year.. But so far, it's going okay.
I decided that instead of "taking it easy" like I said I would this year, I applied to the new CFI school and I am taking two AP Classes.
I absolutely LOVE going to CFI.
It's a change of scenery for me instead of staying at school all day.
I go to CFI for the first half of the day, then to the high school for the second half of the day.
The awesome thing about CFI is it helps me prepare for my future career as a Pediatric GI Specialist. I am in the BioMed program and it is absolutely wonderful. I have had such an amazing time at the center and after only being there for a few weeks, I have learned so much. I can't wait to see what the rest of this year has in store.

I still would rather the school day be from 10-6 instead of 8-3.. But, what can ya do?

I think the strangest thing about me going back to school this year, was for me to take a step back and see how much some people have changed in the year I have been gone..
The people I thought would always be there for me, I am now awkward around and I can't hold a conversation with them.
The people I had grown apart from, I am now super close to..
It is so weird to see how much change a year has made.. For all of us.

I wish my fellow classmates a successful year.
I hope you grow and change.
I hope you mature.
I hope you find yourself.
I hope you do your best in everything.
I hope you push yourself.
I hope you never settle.
I hope you make the most of every moment.

My weekly challenge for my EveryBODY is Beautiful platform is-
I am going to team up with the "Pay it Forward" foundation.
Do a random act of kindness for someone..
It could be, paying for someone's food, buying someone flowers, giving them candy, etc.
Along with this, leave an encouraging note, such as "You are one of a kind."
Make sure you end it with "EveryBODY is Beautiful" and "Pay it Forward."

Have a great week!

"Just another day in the life."

Senior Year..

So, I am going to school tomorrow.

I AM A WRECK.

Buying supplies, packing my backpack, laying out my outfit.. It all felt so weird..

Even though I am super nervous, and I am not one bit excited about going back.. I am thankful I am still alive to experience feeling this way.
I am blessed to be able to experience my "last first day of high school."

I am super thankful for my boyfriend, for helping me pick up my school supplies, pack my backpack, lay out my clothes, and even paint my toenails (which he spent at least 30 minutes on because he wanted them to look perfect).

I went to pick up my parking pass today and everyone was super surprised to see that I was coming back to school after everything.. Which, I guess in their eyes, I have done the unthinkable.
My response- "Life has to go on, regardless of what you've been through."

So, aside from dreading school, and being nervous.. I'll talk about something more exciting..

My contest tea is this Sunday!

I am super excited to "get all dolled up" and hangout with all of my other contestants. This has been such as amazing journey and I am so lucky to have met all of these girls and gotten to spend so much time with them.

To end my weekly post, as I mentioned in my blog post last week, in honor of my "EveryBODY is Beautiful" campaign, my challenge for you this week is when you look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the mornings, point out something POSITIVE about yourself. NOTHING NEGATIVE. It is in our nature as humans to automatically point out the flaws in ourselves at first glance. I want us to stray away from this horrible habit.

I hope everyone has had an awesome week so far and it continues to be awesome.
Make sure to remember those kids going back to school tomorrow and their parents.
I am sure it'll be an emotional day for the parents of kindergarteners and seniors.

"Just another day in the life."

Method to My Madness

I don't feel like I tell my readers JUST how much I appreciate you all.

I had no idea this blog was going to blow up the way it did.

Honestly, I just needed an outlet.
A way to "talk" about how I really felt about the things going on in my life, because if anyone knows me, you know that I REFUSE to talk about my feelings in person. No matter how many "We are here for you." and "You can talk to us." comments I get, I still refuse, and I always will. It's nothing personal. It's just the person that I am, and honestly, I feel better if I don't talk about it.

I wanted to be able to reach others who were going through similar things.
I wanted them to know they weren't alone.
I want them to know it gets better.

Plus, I like making people laugh with the ridiculous things I say in my posts.
I want to touch on deep issues that may make you feel every emotion possible.
I want to keep you all in the "loop of my life."

People tell me I have a talent when it comes to writing, and I have never seen it that way. I still don't see it that way.. I just thank God it comes to me naturally.

People have said I should write a book..
The thought has crossed my mind..
I'd set it up like a diary, with multiple entries about my disease and my "real thoughts."
Just so my readers could "get inside the head of a chronically living girl." ...sounds creepy.
But, I am not sure.. We will see.

But, that is the method to my madness. That is the reason why I have continued, and will continue to do what I do.

Like I said, I can't thank you readers enough for everything. For sharing my blog, talking to others about my blog, suggesting it to others who may be having a hard time, and leaving me all the feedback you do.

I don't want this blog to JUST apply to those with a chronic illness. I want it to apply to everyone that has the time to sit down and read it. I want everyone to be able to take something from each post and apply it to their life, or share it with someone else. I want to leave you all thinking.
I hope I do just that.

Thank you all for following me through the highs and the lows because it's...

"Just another day in the life."

EveryBODY is Beautiful

I decided it was time for me to tell you about my program that I have in the works.

Before I got sick, I was convinced that looks were everything.
I believed you had to look a certain way before people would like you.
I guarantee you, I was the most shallow human being on the face of the Earth.

After getting sick and getting my ostomy, I quickly had a reality check and learned that looks aren't everything.

I learned that every person's body is beautiful.
God took time to create and mold you into what you are.
If that isn't beauty, I don't know what is.

Now, this doesn't just apply to the person with scars, or the person with cancer, or the person with an ostomy, etc.
This applies to everyBODY!

To the kid that doesn't feel beautiful because they have acne.
To the kid that doesn't feel beautiful because they are heavier.
To the kid that doesn't feel beautiful because they have any imperfection.
YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL!

You should NEVER feel ashamed of who you are!
Take your differences and use them as conversation starters!
When I had my ostomy, I walked in and a girl was crying in the restroom..
I panicked and all I could think to say was "Hey, you wanna see me intestine?"
I mean.. that's cool.. right?
Even though she didn't want to see it, she stopped crying, and got a giggle out of it..
So, I check that off as a success in my book.

I want this program to reach all across the US. I want to travel to elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, and even places of business to share my story and help motivate others to love their imperfections, because lets be honest, we learn to look in the mirror and point out our flaws at a young age, and it carries on through the rest of our lives. I want to put an end to this.

So, starting next month, at the end of my weekly blog posts, I am going to post a challenge for you to take and apply to your lives that week.
If you do anything, I want you to do this.
Not for me.
But for yourself.

"Just another day in the life."

Modern Day Issues

All of this bull crap has really drove me off the edge..
So, I am going to blunt.
There is your warning.
I don't want to hear anyone else's opinion, honestly. So, if you're easily offended by how others may feel, or if you are that person who believes that your opinion is the only correct opinion.. Stop reading while you're ahead.

LGBT Marriage
Okay, the LGBT community can get married. Congratulations! I am happy that you are happy! You do you, you be yourself.
People who are being rude about it- Guess what? People in the LGBT community were already living together. You didn't run your mouth.. They could've went and got their last name changed to their significant other's. You didn't run your mouth..
No one is forcing you to go live in their homes with them. SO SHUT UP.
What they do, isn't your business.
Just like what you do, isn't their business.
To all the Christians- You don't have to agree with it.. But you sin too.. ALL SINS ARE EQUAL. You don't like it? Don't spread the negativity. Just pray for them.
When Christians post these hateful things about people, do you think you are leading them to Christ? If anything, you are pushing them away.
You don't have to agree with someone's ways to love them anyways.

Confederate Flag
This stuff was done and over with forever ago.
Yes, I think its offensive.
Yes, I am already tired of seeing all these rude rednecks posting rebel flag pictures, putting them on their truck, etc.
But, like I said earlier, you do you.
I don't like it, so I will turn my head.

Caitlynn Jenner
YOU GO GIRL!
I am happy people can now feel comfortable in their own skin and feel free to be themselves.
Everyone hating on her? When you know her personally, and the choices she makes start to have an impact on you personally, then you can say whatever.
To the people saying she should lose her Olympic title- She won that years ago. She worked for it. She earned it. Don't bring up old things to try and tear a person down.

With that said, I know many wont agree with me, just like I don't agree with many of you.. But, that's the beauty of opinions.

"Just another day in the life."

Getting to Know All About You

Yes, the title of this is from The King and I..
Do I care? No.

In this post, I am going to answer questions and NOT talk about my disease, so you guys can actually get to know ME.. Not just about my disease.

1) Who is your hero?
I don't have one.. I look up to a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

2) If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
My old Kentucky home.

3) What is your biggest fear?
Death, or heights.

4) What is your favorite family vacation?
Disney World when I was 9.

5) What would you change about yourself if you could?
My ears.. They are big enough to pick up radio stations.

6) What makes you really angry?
When people lie.

7) What motivates you to work hard?
Knowing it will pay off in the end.

8) What is your favorite type of music?
Anything.

9) What is your favorite movie?
Anything Disney, or Tim Burton (strange, right).

10) What is your proudest accomplishment?
I don't think I have accomplished anything big yet.

11) What is your favorite color?
Purple

12) What is your favorite book to read?
I don't want to be mainstream and say "Anything John Green!"
but... Anything John Green.

13) What makes you laugh the most?
I literally laugh at myself all the time.. and Brandon.

14) What was the last movie you went to? What'd you think?
Paper Towns.. Eh.

15) What did you want to be when you were small?
An actress.

16) How do you dress?
Like a prep.

17) If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
Be Belle at Disney World.

18) What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play?
Watch- Basketball
Play- Volleyball

19) Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
DRIVE A CAR

20) What would you sing at karaoke night?
Don't Stop Believin'
Just kidding. I wouldn't be anywhere that had karaoke, and I really wouldn't sing.

21) What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most?
I don't listen to the radio because the pressure washer broke my antenna.

22) Which would you rather do: wash the dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?
Clean the bathroom.

23) How tall are you?
5'4

24) If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
My nana's biscuits and gravy.

25) Who is your favorite author?
John Green and Kate Dicamillo

26) Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?
Yes.. TeToe.

27) Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
I love them! It means I am getting something good!

28) In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read a book?
Watch a movie.

29) Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska? Why?
Hawaii. Tropical is my thing.

30) Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job?
Win the lottery.

31) Who would you want to be stranded on a deserted island with?
My dog.

32) If money was no object, what would you do all day?
Shop.

33) If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
1600.

34) How would your friends describe you?
..entertaining, that's for sure.

35) What are your hobbies?
Is sleeping a hobby...?

36) What is the best gift you have been given?
My car.

37) What is the worst gift you have received?
A yard gnome.

38) How often do you buy clothes?
At least once a week.

39) What's your favorite holiday?
Christmas

40) If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Tiny, but dangerous.

Hope you all enjoy!

"Just another day in the life."

Getting Caught Up

So, I had no idea how behind I had gotten with my blog until it came up in a conversation with an amazing lady.. She said "I read all of your blog posts." and I was like "Yeah, I haven't posted in awhile." She then said "I know! I have been checking, waiting on you to post!"
I had no idea so many people actually read my blog posts and like to stay in the loop..
So, good news for that lady, I will be making 5 blog posts tonight in order to get caught up!

I know, I have said before "I won't get behind again!" ...now here I am... ...behind.

This post is to let everyone know what has been going on in my life!

I was admitted into the hospital either last week or the week before due to a line infection.
I was REALLY sick, but thank goodness, I had the line pulled, I am home, and doing better.

I am no longer doing IV nutrition! I am now getting all my nutrition through my tube feeds which go into my gut.
This is a better and safer alternative.

I have a boyfriend.... Don't know if I have said anything about it on here.. But, all I am saying is it is going great, and I am sure he will have his own post sometime soon.

I will be competing in the Miss Laurel County Homecoming Pageant. So, keep an eye out for me! Yes, I am nervous.

I am going to school this year.
Not excited.
Very nervous.
Not ready.
Etc.

After a year of being too sick to stay the night with my grandparents (or anyone) for a year, I finally got to go stay the night.

I have so many exciting and new things going on this month and the month to come.. I can't wait to post about them in my upcoming posts. Hopefully I will stay on track, but no promises. But, stay tuned!

"Just another day in the life."

Keep Fighting the Good Fight

After having my ostomy removed, I started the road to recovery..

Just to be honest, it was so much easier than I ever imagined it could be.. A lot of people say that after all of the bullets I have taken, the things in the future should be nothing I can't handle. That statement is controversial.. I have been through a lot, but I still feel pain just like the next person. But yes, I can handle it. I honestly believe that every single person can handle anything that is thrown their way.. The question is, do you handle it, or run from it?

Looking back on this year, I have found a strength in myself that I never knew I had. How when I was in ICU on the vent, and my family was told they were probably going to lose me, I somehow managed to find some kind of strength in my body that I never knew I had and I used every bit of my being to help get through.. Plus, I had an amazing Savior holding my hand the whole time.

The next day after my surgery was a great day, I got up, got moving, and I honestly just knew everything was going to be just fine.

Then my tube got clamped.................................................
My gtube was clamped and none of us knew.. So, the whole day I was super nauseous and I had all I thought I could stand. Thank goodness, my surgeon noticed it during my wound vac change. He was able to unclamp it and he drew a ton of the fluid off my stomach which made me feel a bit better.
The next two days was all about walking through the nausea and trying to get all that bile off my stomach and down my tube. I threw up twice and was convinced that by the way it felt, my whole wound had ripped open and I was bleeding out. So I just laid there. In my vomit. Luckily, that wasn't the case.

Now I am a week and a day out from surgery, and I seriously feel great. I am getting my wound vac changed on Tuesdays and Fridays. I am walking, eating popsicles and drinking clears.

Everything in my body is working the way it should and I am beyond blessed to be having such an awesome recovery and I am constantly praying it stays that way.

In closing, I am going to say this.. I will not be going back to the past. Being in ICU, being extremely ill, almost losing my life, struggling, crying, and feeling like I was nothing. I am still healing from that part of my life and the way I get over things is to stop talking about them. Years from now, I will be able to speak about that part of my life and not get choked up, but I am just not there yet.

So, for the people in my life on a daily basis- This time WILL work. This time IS working. We are NOT going to worry that THIS time will be like LAST time, because THIS time IS NOT LAST TIME. We are not going back to that place.
I may eat my words, but if I do, I will handle it.

I remember where I've been, but I'm looking forward to where I'm going.

"Just another day in the life."

On to the Better Life

This post won't be very formal.. Just a warning.

I haven't been on here to post in two weeks, so you know the drill..

When MaKenzie doesn't post for two weeks, MaKenzie does two posts in one night.

Most of you reading know why I haven't been posting, but for those of you who don't...

....

.......

.........

You ready?

....

.....

.......

I NO LONGER HAVE AN OSTOMY!

Yes, you aren't seeing things.. It is GONE. 

G-O-N-E

GONE

GONE

I'm a little excited, ya know...

But, anyways, the surgery went so well! I spent the night in ICU just so they could keep an eye on me, but I didn't have a vent, like we expected I would.

The surgery was 7 hours long, I had 6 inches of intestine removed and rehooked, I has my gallbladder removed, and I had my ostomy taken down.

OH! ANDDDDDDDDD.......

....

.....

.......

When they got in there.... I HAD NO ACTIVE DISEASE!

NO

ACTIVE
DISEASE

So, in summary, my Entivyo is straight up killin' it (I already regret saying this.. Wait until I read it years from now..).

My recovery is going pretty well, I got up and walked the next day after surgery with no problems at all. After all these years, I have finally got myself to understand that the more I walk, the better I will feel. 

I am still in shock about not having an ostomy, I am waiting on nurses to come in every four hours to give me medicine, I am waiting for a leaky ostomy.

It is so, so weird to look back and see how I spent a year of my life and how much it changed me. 

I am so excited to see what the future holds for me.

"Just another day in the life."

Late Night Shenanigans

So I never really make posts at night, I usually do them on Sunday afternoon, but I decided that I was in the mood to post, so here it is..

You know how most people do "Dear Me" letters? I never really thought much about doing one.. But, just laying here thinking about how far I've come in just a short amount of time, I decided I needed to make one, so I can look back on it years from now, and remember when I was in this place in my life.
Here goes it..

Dear Me,

You've been through hell and back, and you have learned so much along the way, and the best part is, you're still learning. You've been a light in the lives of so many people, and I don't think you realize. Every person you meet, you leave a mark on their lives. Make sure it's a mark that counts, and a positive one they'll never forget. Always be confident, and go with your gut (even though you don't have much gut left). Even on the days when your life sucks, find that little glimpse of hope, and always focus on the positives of the day instead of the negatives. Smile Always. Give yourself more credit than what you do. People refer to you as a hero and that you are their inspiration, please, be a good role model. Don't ever see yourself as better than someone else. Use your disease as a blessing, use it to witness all the wonders God has worked in your life, use it to inspire and motivate the people around you, if they have a chronic illness or not. Don't ever let anyone else have control over your happiness, you've been through so much turmoil and sadness, that you should never send yourself back to that place, let alone give someone else the power to send you there. People are cruel, people will always be cruel. Kill them with kindness, regardless. It's okay to cry sometimes, but don't become a hot mess. You stay strong through almost all of the motions of your life because you feel like you have to be everyone else's backbone. It doesn't always have to be like that, sometimes it's okay to cry and feel sorry for yourself, go somewhere alone, let it all out, regroup and move on. Don't ever let yourself stay in that place. Always forgive, when you choose to not show forgiveness, you aren't hurting the person you're angry with.. You're hurting yourself. Enjoy this moment, yes, this moment, in the hospital, with a virus, and an ostomy. Enjoy this moment, because years down the road it will be a memory, and a story about something you've been through. Don't speak so negatively about yourself, you always aren't skinny enough, or pretty enough, or healthy enough, but as Dr. Seuss says "Today you are you, that's truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you." Cherish the people in your life right now, because, they won't always be there. Believe you can do great things, and you will. Don't listen to the negativity of others, take constructive criticism and try to apply it to your life, but don't ever let someone break you down. Love fearlessly. If you have feelings for someone, don't ever pass up the opportunity to tell them. Always pray, about everything. Understand that the things God is putting you through right now, are preparing you for something greater than yourself, take all challenges head on, work your heart on, then when you make it out on the other side, you'll understand why it happened. Stay positive. Stay blessed.

From,
Me

"Just another day in the life."

Ugh

So, I am making this post from my phone.. Hopefully it'll work out this way too because I've always done it from my laptop.

I had my Entivyo infusion yesterday and today I am 99 percent sure my body is killing itself. I have never been this sick after treatment.. Hopefully by Thursday I will be able to move and feel like somewhat of a normal person.

When I went to the hospital and stood on the scale, I weighed in at 126 pounds. I was 140 pounds 8 weeks ago.. So, I'm going back on tpn and lipids for awhile.. From where my ostomy is so high up, even though I've been eating my head off, my body just isn't absorbing it. I will be on tpn and lipids probably until I get my ostomy taken down. My doctor is going to adjust it to where I am holding steady at 135 pounds.

I go to see my surgeon on the 15th of this month, and I'm pretty excited. I'd like to try getting a takedown so I can actually live my life... But we will see. I know I'm going to tell them that if they decide to do the takedown, if they get in there and my gut doesn't look good, instead of putting it back together, I like to be ran out with a better ostomy, and then try again later.

On a more positive note- Based on my labs, my Crohn's is in remission. I don't feel like I'm in remission. But, that's what the labs say, so.

I've laid in my moms bed in the same spot all day because it hurts to move, and I'll probably do the same thing tomorrow. I just pray I have a restful night.

This is a rather short post, but I'm not in much of a mood to write and I don't want to get behind again, so here's something.

"Just another day in the life." 

I'm Blessed on the Busy Days, Too

Okay, so I am FINALLY back on track with my posts (YAY)!

I had a CRAZY busy weekend! But I am also blessed that I'm still able to enjoy not only the days I spend relaxing in bed watching movies, but the days where I am on the run nonstop as well.

Friday night, I was horribly sick with a 24 hour stomach virus, but thank goodness I was better by Saturday morning because ain't nobody got time for the stomach virus!

I started my day early Saturday, waking up at 8, getting ready, then picking up one of my best friends by 9:30 to go to a graduation at 10.

This was my first year ever attending a high school graduation, but I had a great time!

I got to see one of my best friends, Valerie receive her diploma. Valerie and I have practically grown up together, she is one of the most honest and down to Earth friends I have. Everyone needs that friend that warns you before you make an incredibly stupid decision.. She's mine.
We've laughed and cried together over the years and I am so blessed that I am still here on this Earth to watch her receive her high school diploma.
I am so, so proud of this girl and I cannot wait to see everything she accomplishes in the future!

After Valerie's graduation ended, I had to go to another graduation at 1.

Next, I got to see my boyfriend, Jacob receive his diploma! I have known Jacob for about 3 years now and our families are very close. We have only been dating for a little over a month, but he is everything I could ask for in a boyfriend and more. He is so sweet and caring and he always helps me with whatever I need, which is a big thing for someone with a chronic illness. I am so proud of the man he has become and I can't wait to see all the amazing opportunities the future holds for him!

As I was leaving the school parking lot, I saw one of the valedictorians, I rolled my window down to tell her she had an amazing speech and to ask her if she found the friend that I came with because he was going to her graduation party after. After we talked, I went to roll my window back up and she stopped me and said "MaKenzie, I'm praying for you." Those 5 words... They made my day, and 2 days later, it's still on my mind.. It's the things like that, that mean the most.

 On Sunday, I went to another graduation party, then went to my sweet little cousin's 2nd birthday party where I rode a mini pony, and got to pet a kangaroo and a camel.

Also, I was able to make it through this weekend with no outrageous ostomy leaks, so I thank the lord for that. I am excited to see what is in store for these upcoming weeks.
Next Monday, I go back for another IV Infusion of Entivyo, thank you for all of the continued prayers.

"Just another day in the life."

It's Summer!

So, on Tuesday of this week, I FINALLY finished my junior year of high school!

Honestly, I didn't think I would make it to see this day.. I have struggled this year, that's for sure.
I received an email from one of my teacher's this year that said "You're finally a senior!" It just clicked.. I sat back and thought "oh my gosh, I did it" I know that's the strangest thing ever, but I couldn't believe I actually did it..

I know I am making it out like I just graduated, but I kinda feel that way.

I feel like I did the unimaginable, as strange as that sounds..

I am so blessed for all of the teachers and staff that worked with me this year, it was in no way an easy task for any of us.

But, we made it.

I go to see my boyfriend graduate this weekend, and I am so excited to see everyone that I have known since I was little walk the line.

To all the seniors that read my blog posts- I am so proud of you. Most of you have grown into amazing young men and women and I have loved growing up with you all. As you enter the adult world, I know you all will make the best decisions in your career and life choices. I can't wait to see all the amazing things you guys do. Enjoy your graduation and don't do anything you will regret later in life.

To my fellow 2016 graduates- We are seniors! Holy cow.. Enjoy this summer, this is our last summer as high school students. Make wise choices, for the decisions we are making now will effect our futures. From what I have seen, you all have had an amazing year, and I pray I will back at school for my whole senior year to enjoy it and experience it with you all. Also, I hope none of us ever say that we "can't wait to graduate." I never say that because I know that years down the road, I am going to miss senior year and I am going to want just one more chance to experience the things I am experiencing now.

By the way, some school related humor for your day- One of my friends texted me this morning and told me that my name was called for the perfect attendance award, haha. Since I have been on homebound, I have technically been enrolled and attended everyday of school this year..

"Just another day in the life."

Appreciation and Update

So, I forgot to post last week, so I will be making two posts today!

I made this blog account about two months ago, and in two months, I have had over 600 page views! That is awesome!
I made this account in hopes that I can reach others with my story, chronic illness or not.
I have numerous people stop and tell me that they look at my blog weekly and that is an awesome feeling!
I am so, so blessed to have such a huge support system all over the US.
With all the hate I have gotten this year (yeah, bullying doesn't stop for those that have been critically ill), I am so thankful to know that while many may not like me, I have a even larger group of people who LOVE me.

By the way, shout out to the girls (whose names I don't know) that have told people I have cancer.... prostate cancer.. ha.

Anyways, more important news, I have also made the decision to be competing for Miss Laurel County Homecoming in the Laurel County Homecoming pageant this year in August. I have dreamed of being in this pageant since I was a little girl and I am so excited to have the opportunity to actually be apart of it.

Also, I go for another Entivyo infusion on June 8th, I absolutely love the treatment I am doing right now and I am so thankful that it is working.

Plus, I go on June 16th to discuss my ostomy take down.
Please continue to pray over this situation. I am nervous, but I am hopeful this time.

On a great note, I have been having a much easier time with my ostomy! PRAISE THE LORD! I think that all of my meltdowns when I first got home were just me adjusting, but now, it is going great! I still have about 1-2 leaks a day, but I am taking them with a grain of salt and it has been so much easier to manage.

I have an important weekend coming up ahead of me, with my boyfriends graduation, graduation parties and birthday parties. I will FOR SURE be posting next weeks blog post on Monday!

"Just another day in the life."

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the awesome moms out there!

Especially to my mom, it takes a LOT to take care of a child with a chronic illness..
I often find myself saying "I didn't sign up for this." Well, she didn't sign up for it either, but she handles it like a champ. Thank you for changing my ostomy at crazy hours of the night, driving to town at the drop of a hat because it's "what I am craving," giving me medicine all around the clock, singing at the top of our lungs to the radio, holding me when I cry and being my punching bag when you know that everything I am dealing with becomes too much to carry and I need to scream and feel bad for myself for a bit. After all the sickness we've both been through, and especially after everything I have been through in ICU, I thank God for giving me another Mother's Day with my mom.

I can't forget about my nana. I am so blessed to still have my nana here with me on this Earth considering many have lost their grandparents. I can't thank her enough for always being there for me to talk to, whether it's on the phone, or if I am driving down to her house for a visit. She listens to all my rants and gives me great advice that not only applies to my current situation, but it is something I can remember for the rest of my life. Every time I don't know how to go about a situation she always says "Just wait. It'll all come out in the wash." Or if I am feeling hurt by my disease and I pull the "why me" card, she always says "You are my special baby, and God is using you in more ways than you know." But, my favorite is when I go to leave she always walks me out and says "Take care of yourself, remember to pray and ask Jesus to help you." I am thankful for my nana, and her never failing words of wisdom.

I also want to make sure I mention all of my second moms out there! I know, I am a handful, so it takes more than one woman to try and keep me reigned in. Thanks for being there for me, no matter what, and trying to calm me down and help my mom keep her cool when we are having one of those days when we could kill each other.

Plus, I can't say this enough, MY NURSES AND DOCTORS ARE MY MOMS TOO! I am so thankful to the nurses and doctors for helping change my ostomy, holding me when I cry, calling or sending me messages to check in on me, making me laugh, singing me songs, watching movies with me, staying up all night with me if I am having a bad night, and all the other awesome things they do. They've been there for me since I was little, they've watched me grow up and have held my hand the whole way. We've cried together, laughed together, struggled together, and rejoiced together. I couldn't be more blessed to have them around.

Make sure that as you go about the rest of your Mother's Day to say a prayer for the ones who have lost their loved ones or can't be with them on these holidays.

"Just another day in the life."